


A Dance of Bullets and Banter

by Stacysmash



Series: Random Rare Pairs [25]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Banter, Betrayal, Comedy, Dark Comedy, Dark Humor, Flirting, Futuristic fic, Gritty Futurism, Heist, It's like a Quentin Tarantino with less blood and more flirting, It’s not really that graphic, Just being cautious, M/M, OT4, Polyamory, Science Fiction, Sort of? - Freeform, augmented humans - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 08:28:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15770358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stacysmash/pseuds/Stacysmash
Summary: In a world full of darkness and betrayal combined with blossoming technology, Kuroo Tetsurou is one of the many humans to have parts of his body upgraded and not for any noble purpose. One night as he uses his skills to hold up an armored truck single-handedly, he receives some unexpected company... a lot of company.Ask Challenge! Pick a genre and a rare ship:Bokuroterudai + Scifi/comedy





	A Dance of Bullets and Banter

**Author's Note:**

> *Update* Finnthebunneh (who requested this fic) did an amazing artwork based off of it! Check it out here: http://finnthebunneh.tumblr.com/post/177355349577/inspired-by-stacysmashs-fic-because-i-apparently

Kuroo Tetsurou held his grip on the edge of the building as he peered over. The wind was fierce on the apartment rooftop, but it gave him the perfect view of the city streets below. His glittering eyes swept over the scene, his grin in place as his body thrummed with pent-up energy. The armored truck would be along soon and Kuroo almost felt bad how easily he was going to rob it.

Suddenly, his wave of black hair began to move, and not with the direction of the wind. It crackled as if filled with static, the tips of every strand flickering with a red glow before dampening out. Kuroo fluttered his eyes as a stream of information entered his mind, and once it was finished he straightened up and gave a long stretch toward the sky.

“Showtime!” He said as he hopped onto the ledge. He flicked his long, billowy jacket out from either side of him like wings and licked his lips as the armored truck pulled around the corner.

He waited, poised like a gargoyle until the truck was nearly in front of the apartment building. His feet kicked off the ledge, and with a cackling laugh, he fell through the air without a lick of fear. He fell right in front of the truck, landing on his feet like a cat but the sound of the impact bounced off the buildings surrounding the street.

The driver slammed on his breaks and laid on his horn but stopped when Kuroo straightened up and pointed a heavy pistol right at him with his eyes glowing like holograms.

“Good evening!” He greeted them politely and released several bullets into the windshield. That kind of glass was meant to withstand most kinds of bullets, but Kuroo’s shattered it like a champagne flute. The driver and the guard with him screamed and ducked to avoid being hit and stayed there until the shooting stopped. Then it was quiet except for the maniacal laughter coming from Kuroo. He sauntered over to the driver’s door, reloading his pistol on the way, and hopped up on the running board to peek inside.

“Hey, can you open up? I can shoot you and get in myself, but I figured I’d waste fewer bullets this way.”

The guard lifted his pistol and shot at Kuroo’s face, but he was too quick and slid back to the ground with a yawn. Once the barrage of bullets stopped he hopped back up pistol first and shot the guard in the forehead. The driver screamed and hid behind his arms, whimpering as Kuroo reached his arm in and patted him on the shoulder.

“There, there. Open this door like I asked, and I promise you I won’t treat you the same.”

“O-Okay,” He stammered, and he reached his trembling hand over to unlock the door for Kuroo. With a satisfied chuckle, Kuroo wrenched it open and glanced inside. He reached in and grabbed the dead guard’s rifle as well as another pistol taped underneath the dash.

“Thaaaank you. Think you can unlock the back for me?”

The driver nodded quickly and swung his legs over to slip off the seat when they both froze at the sound of a roaring engine and the squeal of tires. Kuroo held his hand up to instruct the driver to stay put and moved away from the door.

Just turning onto the street was a gleaming, black sports car, reflecting the streetlights like a mirrored shadow and snarling like a rabid beast. Kuroo’s hair began to move, crackling as it picked up information from every source it could and transmitted it into Kuroo’s mind. He shut his eyes as he absorbed it, his grin slipping back on as the menace approached quickly.

“Mmmmm, I was hoping he’d show up. This party just got a lot more fun.”

Kuroo slammed the door shut and reached inside his coat to pull out another pistol of the same caliber as the car spun in front of him with expert precision. The driver rolled out of the door and onto the street, avoiding the bullets from Kuroo’s pistols. When he stopped in a crouch, he held one arm up to block his face as his other reached around like he was going to shoot back at Kuroo, except there was no gun in his hand. As several bullets ricocheted off his arm, the places where they hit glowed orange and didn’t seem to bother the man one bit. A smirk quirked on his lips as the ligaments in his other hand began to jerk and reassemble into the barrel of a gun. Kuroo spun on his heel and ran toward the front of the truck, slamming his back against the grill and barely avoiding a fresh round of bullets. He panted as he reloaded his pistols, turning his head when he heard a pause in the shooting.

“That all you got, Sawamura? I’m almost offended!”

“I’m not the one hiding like a little mouse,” Sawamura shot back, amusement in his voice as his steps approached the front of the truck. Kuroo stilled, his teeth gleaming from between his grinning lips as he waited. He spun out and immediately began firing. Sawamura rolled again and when he came up both his arms had transformed into guns. Such a thing Kuroo always thought had no right looking anything but ridiculous, but there was something about Sawamura that he was able to pull the look off. They froze, Kuroo standing with two pistols pointing straight at Sawamura, who was still crouched with his augmented arm guns pointing at Kuroo.

“Well, well… what now?” Kuroo asked, letting his eyes roam over the sleeveless leather vest hugging Sawamura’s muscular torso.

“I think we both know the contents of this truck belong to the Johzenji Syndicate, Kuroo. Even if you defeat me, which is unlikely, they’ll find another way to get it.”

Kuroo’s eyebrows raised up into his ever-moving hair and chuckled darkly.

“Such confidence. After I take you out, that’ll be the last Johzenji hears of it.”

They remained poised, their muscles coiled and ready to lunge at any given moment. Sawamura narrowed his eyes at the grin on Kuroo’s face, wishing he’d break for even a moment. He held his ground, however, refusing to give in to the other thief.

Kuroo’s hair began to flow again with crackles and red glowing tips as they both heard a _whoop_ shouted in the distance. They both jerked their heads to see a body cannonballing from a building and slamming into the street about a hundred feet away. There was a cloud of dirt in the air from the impact, and a bulky figure suddenly formed within it, silhouetted from the orange glow of the streetlamps behind him. Lines of blue light began forming on the shadow like a network of veins, and with a groan in unison Kuroo and Sawamura turned a gun toward the approaching figure.

“Hey, hey, hey! Did you guys see that jump?!” A rough voice called out to them, his tone friendly rather than menacing.

“I saw that _fall_ if that’s what you mean,” Kuroo teased.

“It wasn’t a fall! I meant to do that!” The man protested as a beam from the streetlamp finally illuminated him. He wore only a pair of jeans, boots, and a muscle tank, showing off his ample muscles with the strange veins that seemed to be pulsing with light. His eyes were practically glowing with excitement underneath his black and silver hair that spiked up from his head.

“What are you doing here, Bokuto?” Sawamura asked, already impatient to move past the pointless back and forth conversation.

“What do you think I’m doing here? I’m here for the loot,” He said, pointing at the truck.

“You’re too late. I got here first, and then Sawamura showed up too late as well. Sorry about your luck, both of you, but if you’ll excuse me.”

Bokuto folded his arms across his chest and let out a hearty laugh, completely unbothered by the two guns pointed at him.

“I don’t think so, Kuroo. It’s been a while since we last fought, but I’ve had even more upgrades.”

“And you think we haven’t? Sawamura’s arms are literally machine guns.”

Bokuto jerked his head toward Sawamura, his body rigid with interest.

“No shit! That’s badass.”

“Thanks,” Sawamura said as he pursed his lips. Kuroo snickered at the sudden shyness as if Bokuto had complimented his new dress instead of his weird gun arms. Bokuto looked back and forth between them, furrowing his large eyebrows as he gazed particularly at the weapons.

“Oh, I guess I should just join you guys then,” He said with a shrug and reached into his holsters, bringing out two pistols to aim at them both.

“Why did we just let him do that?” Kuroo asked with an eye roll.

“It only seemed fair.”

“So, what now?” Bokuto asked with his excited grin back in place. Sawamura slowly rose to a standing position and sighed.

“I guess we shoot it out, whoever’s left standing gets the loot.”

Kuroo nodded and stretched his legs out in preparation to bolt if he needed to.

“Sounds fair, a three-way standoff… damn, that sounds hot.”

“Oooh yeah, we should do that sometime. Without the guns,” Bokuto agreed with genuine enthusiasm.

“Except Sawamura would still have his… cuz you know.”

“Sawamura, if we all three fucked, would you promise not to pull out your guns?”

“Why are we even talking about this?!”

“Since when are _you_ such a prude, Sa’amura,” Kuroo purred, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

Sawamura growled in his throat, but he had little time to retort when another person jumped on top of the armored truck. Kuroo bolted forward and spun around, one gun aimed at Sawamura and the other on the figure on top of the truck. Bokuto aimed one up on the truck as well and kept his other trained on Kuroo, while Sawamura kept his pointed at his adversaries on the ground.

“Looks like I arrived just in time, Daichi-san! Looks like you needed another hand.” The man on the truck laughed at his joke and Sawamura rolled his eyes.

“Damn it, Terushima! I told you to let me have this one.”

“Aw, but Boss!” Terushima whined, sticking his lower lip out. “You’re up against two other guys, you could use my speed.”

“I don’t need shit. Now go home like a good boy.”

“A good boy? That’s not what you were calling me the other night,” Terushima said slyly, and Bokuto and Kuroo perked up and gave out some whistles and hoots. Sawamura growled again, giving Terushima dark look that had the blonde gulping his fear down. He turned his eyes away from his mentor and focused on the other two, pointing his guns at them as well.

“Ok… so what now?” Bokuto asked and Kuroo gave him a sharp look.

“Will you stop asking that? Just let it play out!”

“Well, you both are obviously at a disadvantage, working on your own while Daichi-san and I are on the same team,” Terushima said haughtily, and Kuroo slowly turned his gaze up at him as his smile stretched wide.

“On the same team, huh? Wow, all this time and he still has no idea, huh, Sawamura?”

“What’s he talking about?” Terushima asked, keeping his chin up to prove to Kuroo he wasn’t faltering over his strange comment.

“Shut up, Kuroo,” Sawamura warned, but Kuroo only let out a menacing chuckle.

“Oh dear… I hate to be the one to break up such a beautiful partnership, but I feel responsible for such a youthful individual being led astray by his own mentor.”

“Youthful-- I'm like one year younger than you,” Terushima snapped, but his eyes flickered nervously over to Sawamura.

“Sorry, Terushima. He’s an undercover cop. He’s just pretending to work for Johzenji.”

“You’re lying!”

“Yeah, Dude, I think you’re full of shit. What cop has augments like that?” Bokuto joined in, gesturing his gun at Sawamura.

“That’s exactly what they want you to think, Bokuto. I’ve known for some time, though, since the first time you and I had our own tangle in the sheets,” Kuroo said as he leered at Sawamura.

“What?! Sawamura, tell me it’s not true.”

“I’m sorry, I have slept with him several times. But you and I were never exclusive, don’t you have other lovers?”

“Not that! Are you a cop?”

Sawamura regarded his kouhai, his lips pressed tight as a flicker of guilt passed over his face.

“It’s true.”

Terushima sucked in a quick breath, and Bokuto gave an impressed hum.

“Whoa, he didn’t even deny it.”

“Even if I did, he’d still be suspicious. Might as well come clean.”

One of Terushima’s pistols jerked from Kuroo to Sawamura as he drew in deep breaths to keep his emotions in check.

“Then, this loot you were just going to turn in to the government?”

“Yes.”

“And what were you going to tell us?”

“I was going to claim the others made off with it instead.”

“Did you ever care about any of us?”

“Of course, and I still do, Terushima. I know you don’t believe me, but there’s nothing I can do about that,” Sawamura responded, his voice calm for someone that just had his cover blown.

“I don’t know what I want to do about you yet, but I won’t let you take the loot either, Daichi-san. I may be open to making a deal with one of these two, perhaps.”

“Not with Kuroo, he’s working for Nekomata.”

“Shit, _Nekomata?!_ That old man is insane!” Bokuto squawked, backing up a few steps.

“Hmmm, clever Sawamura. How long have you known?”

“I’ve always known. Part of my job was to find out as much as I could about his organization.”

“Are you telling me you only slept with me to get information?”

“No, I actually just wanted to sleep with you. And I got a little information out of it, so win-win.”

Kuroo’s grin slipped into a warm smile instead as he gazed at his adversary.

“Damn, you’re cute when you’re honest.”

Terushima huffed in his impatience and looked at Bokuto.

“What about you, who do you work for?”

“Myself? I owe Akaashi a lot of money, Konoha and Washio as well. I figured with this I can pay everyone off with a little extra as well.”

“Sounds good. How about we team up against these two and split it. Better than getting nothing at all.”

“That’s fine with me. Oh, I’ve slept with Kuroo as well, is that a problem?”

“I don’t care about that, you and I just had a short fling, after all.”

“What the fuck, Bokuto?!” Sawamura yelled, straightening his gun up at Bokuto’s head. “Am I not good enough for you?”

“Oh, no! It’s not that! Every time we meet there are always other people along and propositioning you in a crowd would be awkward. But I’m totally down if you’re not busy later.”

“This is such a disaster,” Kuroo muttered and suddenly his hair began to move and crackle. His eyes widened as he looked around, the others doing the same as a fierce wind swept around them and a noise thundered overhead. A military grade helicopter hovered above them as a giant metal claw descended from it.

“Teru, jump!” Sawamura shouted and immediately Terushima obeyed and scrambled behind his mentor. The claw hissed as it opened and clamped into the hull of the truck, breaking into the metal to get a firm grip.

“There’s no way that thing’s strong enough to--” Kuroo began, but the helicopter rose higher and lifted the truck several feet off the ground.

“It’s Ushijima, that bastard,” Bokuto muttered, sighing as he uncocked his pistols and returned them to his holsters. The truck groaned from its own weight, but it remained securely locked by the helicopter’s claw. They watched as the helicopter soared away with the loot, the screams from the driver still inside fading into the distance.

They remained silent until both the helicopter and the truck had completely disappeared. Then they all looked at each other awkwardly until Bokuto gave a little cough.

“So, you guys all wanna get a cup of coffee?”

The other three looked conflicted until Sawamura gave a little nod.

“Yeah, I could totally go for a coffee.”

“Nothing else to do tonight, I suppose. Might as well make the most of it,” Kuroo said as he put his own pistols away and straightened his jacket with flair. Sawamura turned to face Terushima, who jerked his head away to avoid looking at him. Sawamura chuckled as he maneuvered his arms back into actual human arms and gave Terushima’s shoulder a soft punch.

“Come on, it’s my treat.”

“You expect that I’m just going to forgive you for betraying us?”

“I never betrayed you. Okay, I may have sabotaged a couple of your missions, but mostly it was to gain information about other organizations.”

“You weren’t with us to gain information about Johzenji?”

“What for? Before I got there, it was a mess.”

“He’s right,” Kuroo shouted from behind him. “It would be nothing without Sawamura, you _dirty_ cop you.”

Sawamura tried hard not to smile but failed miserably. Terushima’s face softened, and he ran a hand through his blonde hair with a sigh.

“So… coffee?”

“Yay!” Bokuto cheered and began running down the street ahead of them.

“Go make sure he doesn’t get too far ahead,” Sawamura told Terushima, who nodded obediently and started to chase after him.

“Bokuto! Wait for us, Babe!”

“You know by the end of tonight we’re all going to end up in bed together, right?” Kuroo chuckled as he fell in step with Sawamura.

“Yeah, well, just because we all lost the loot doesn’t mean we still can’t have a happy ending,” Sawamura answered, shooting his statuesque rival a cheeky grin. Kuroo threw his head back and laughed, the obnoxious noise echoing throughout the abandoned city streets.

“Honestly, I’m not even disappointed.”

**Author's Note:**

> So Kuroo literally had sentient hair, Daichi had arms that transformed into a shield and guns, Bokuto's blue veins gave him super strength and invincibility, and though Terushima didn't really say much about it he basically had super speed and agility.  
> This was my first OT4 ever, and I was terrified but it ended up so much better than I thought it would. I at least hope you all enjoyed it, especially you Finn!!! Thank you for requesting! :)  
> 


End file.
